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Steps:

  1. Your writing is only as good as your title. Think of the most intriguing or at least catchiest title you could ever imagine that epitomizes the text and go for that. To most people, the title is what makes it or breaks it. If you have a boring title, you will give an immediate impression of a boring content. Ask yourself, what would you rather read basing only upon the titles of the following selection: Perks of Being Charley (lame) or Perks of Being A Wallflower (quite interesting, isn’t it) ?
  2. Reading is feeding and remember that appetizers come first. A writer is a chef who cooks  meals for readers to feed on. The best meals are the ones complete. You never serve the main course before the appetizer. You have to soothe the feeders and/or predators with a brief and humble soup. I usually either put a short orientation about the entire piece or a back-story to complement all parts. The best tales don’t start with “Snow White took the apple from that random hag, carelessly ate that shit, and died of her own stupidity.” or “Voldemort constantly tries to fuck up Harry Potter’s life and Harry grew tired of it so he drew his want to reciprocate and expelliarmus’ed the noses out of him.”. They usually start along the lines of “Once upon a time….” or “There was once a boy who lived.”.
  3. Go for the kill. This is the part where you actually fulfill your purpose. This is where you impart what you want your readers to know. 
  4. Keep your audience alive. Don’t just tell the story without a tinge or a lot of sugarcoating… unless your life is truly as awesome as the ones in fiction. Reminder: the stories we try to share to others is more interesting to us more than it is to them. Trust me, other people don’t actually wholeheartedly give a shit about your stories… unless they are part of your story firsthand or they’ve experienced your story themselves. So if your experience that you want to share is other-worldly or not-so-relatable, make up for it with humor. Sugarcoat it with comedy, everybody loves a good laugh. The things we try to share is only as interesting as we make it seem. 
  5. Idioms, metaphors, personifications, other figures of speeches, are a writer’s bestfriends. I, personally enjoy making random references from the coolest shows/books/news/stories all of  the world. Because doing so expresses ideas that can’t be expressed through simple statements. To successfully share our joy, we have to share at least a taste of the feeling to our audience. For example: saying “Playing football makes me happy.” doesn’t make me feel anything at all. But, saying “Playing football to me is like jelly-fishing to Spongebob.” gives me a better expression of how happy you truly are. Because let’s face it, Jelly-fishing is Spongebob’s life.
  6.  Less is more. You don’t necessarily need big words to make for great writing. You don’t have to say “extravagantly” when you can say “really”. Ain’t nobody got time to look in the dictionary. You should be lucky people actually took the time to listen to what you have to say. So don’t make it stressful for them. And to those who may think I’m a hypocrite because I allegedly use “big words”. I don’t mean to brag but those words you may refer to aren’t as really big to me. There was a phase in my life when my pastime activity was excessively reading the dictionary or the thesaurus to expand my vocabulary. Hehe.
  7. A few grammar mistakes won’t hurt… they will heal. You don’t have to be conscious about making grammatical errors ‘cause even the best writers in the world had them. The thing is you have to learn from each one of it. I, myself, don’t give a flying f*ck about having flawless grammar because I know I make my points comprehensibly enough and that’s what matters most: to be understood, not to be f l a w l e s s. But, if you come across grammar nazi’s and they correct you, don’t take any of it as an offense. Take it as a lesson. 
  8. Start with a BOOM! and end with a POW! Take time to actually address a realization or an evaluation from what you wrote about. Enter like a boss and exit like one too. You just can’t be done and that’s it. You have to end with something memorable or at least, inspiring.
  9. Write like your life depends on it. If you’re gonna do something, then be passionate while you’re at it. You don’t have to write about every second of your day just like in Twitter. You just have to at least do it regularly. Practice is key.
  10. But all else aside, write for two people: you and yourself. I don’t write to please anybody, I write because it simply makes me happy.

And this, my friend, is how I roll. Mazel tov!

Side note: I always get owls asking for tips on writing. I don’t consider myself that good, to be honest. The actual skill is about 20% only but my sparkling humor makes up for it by 80% so… this is only from a perspective of one kid who likes to write.

#PREACH!